What’s up, everyone? It’s been two weeks since I’ve posted. Life has been busy, but I am starting to stand back on level ground. Admittedly, I have been running around a bit and getting something posted was pushed to the back burner. But in that time, I have had some time for self-reflection and prayer to get realigned. (This is especially true for my plane ride to Palm Springs – hence the title here and the picture at the end of this blog post).
Before I get into this post, I wanted to share with you that I have started thinking about future blog ideas that I think could be relatable to all purposeFULL viewers. These ideas would be linked as a series of particular topics. Within each topic I will delve deeper and get more intimate with you, sharing my experiences related to the topic. If you have any ideas for topics you’d like to explore with me, please share them – I am open for ideas! I hope you all continue to follow, share, and experience it with me.
With that said, my life recently has been wonderfully chaotic. I have faced a wide range of emotions and experiences. I’ve realized that I am being meticulously molded into a better version of myself. Growth can be challenging, especially when you step out on a ledge to push the limits of self-discovery. Sometimes working on my personal growth – I feel like the Incredible Hulk, trying to shape a tiny piece of clay with his gigantic, car-crushing hands to carefully construct a pot, and then slamming it into the 1,000-degree kiln. While he is being as gentle as he can, and trying his best, there’s only one way that’s going to go. OUCH.
When life hurts – even burns you – I believe there is a value behind the scars and bruises. One that you likely don’t see at the time. Ideally, you learn to fall differently each time, getting back up for the next season of life. We live in a big world with big possibilities. Step out on the ledge to find your own purpose. Every experience, whether big or small, good or bad, can bring about learning in some capacity – linking life together like a puzzle. I personally think life should not be about regrets, but rather all about learning. How do we learn? By sharing our bruises with each other, so that another person can learn how to fall (hopefully) more gracefully than you did. Pay it forward.
Why do I mention all of this? During my times of self-reflection and growth (recently and in the past) I kept saying to myself, “You can only control what you can control.” So what exactly can we control? I’d like to share three areas where keeping control will prove to be a useful learning tool for the future.
Reaction
Have you ever blurted out a response in joyful excitement prior to someone finishing a question? Maybe…you have assumed a wrong in someone, and have shouted in frustration back to him or her in self-defense during an argument? How about this one – agreeing to a dare without fully knowing all parts of the act, because you think you will get a laugh? Sounds about right – I’ve done all those. The human condition to react is simply… fascinating. We often find ourselves speaking or doing before cognition even seems to take place in a situation. I’m here to tell you from personal testimony: we can (and should) control how we react more tactfully. By no means am I saying that controlling our reactions is easy. As a very passionate person, I often find it hard to practice this. Lack of control is evident particularly in times of emotional highs and lows. Life finds a way to challenge our restraint, but with refinement and discipline, I believe it can be accomplished.
Treatment of others
Have you ever been at a restaurant when someone drops a tray of food? They are embarrassed for an honest mistake, and in need of help – but you don’t bother to help or ask them if they are ok? Or are you a parent and spouse who has had a long frustrating day, and comes into a welcoming home only to seclude themselves from their family? Dang it, I’ve done both of these, too. Instead of helping that worker pick up the mess and show compassion in the situation, I watched them do it by themself. There have been times when my frustration from the workday has stayed with me, present even as my beautiful children coming running up to me when I walk in the door.
I’m here to say that we can control how we treat others – with experience and awareness. It’s not easy to come home from an exhausting day and put your “other stuff” aside. But if you have experience in controlling any frustration – enough to give your kids the best hug a parent could give, knowing that one day they won’t come running to the door yelling, “Mommy! Daddy!” – you won’t miss an opportunity. Phew. I don’t know about you, but this tugs at my heart-strings. I believe (for some) it takes multiple learning experiences to train yourself to do this. Maybe this makes it seem like I’m “putting on a face” – but what I’m really saying is you have to THINK about treating others kindly. We do have control over the courage we choose to display in a public setting for a random stranger, but are we paying attention? In time, this conscious choice might feel less restrictive as your frame of mind shifts. I encourage you to work toward recognizing those opportunities more often.
Priorities
Well, I wish there was a magic button I could push every morning when I wake up that would prioritize my day. This magic button would perfectly align my thoughts and plans so that everyone was happy and I was stress free. Check. Oh wait, there isn’t one. I have to control how I prioritize family, job responsibilities, and my personal agenda. And my response to this? When I feel like those responsibilities keep mounting, it’s like I’m staring at the printer that keeps spitting out papers and won’t stop. And I just stare at it blankly, not knowing what to do. But are there any “type-A” people out there going – give me the reigns, baby!? While this may be a specialty for some, we all fail at this. Some thing becomes more important than another – and we are at a crossroad.
This axis of control is considerably difficult because I think it drives the majority of our daily thinking. This control can be overwhelming, frustrating, and ultimately can affect the previous two areas I mentioned. To add to this dilemma, what if you make something a priority and still can’t fulfill the commitment. “I’m totally going to make it to my son’s soccer practice!” And then you get stuck in stand-still traffic. You’re left wondering if you’re even going to make it by half time, and your spouse texts you that “Johnny already scored two goals!” I guess now we revert back to number one – how do we choose to react. Thought-provoking? I think so.
So what’s the takeaway? Give yourself grace and learn. Learn from life. Understand what you are good at currently controlling and work at it everyday. Let’s share with each other our compassion, our patience, and our humility. We deserve to be the best version of ourselves and the people around us deserve that, too. When we control how we react, how we treat others, and our priorities we can positively impact others around us one word and one commitment at a time.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
Steve Maraboli
A purposeFULL thought: We deserve to be the best version of ourselves, and the people around us deserve that, too.
purposeFULL 